Conflict and Dispute Resolution Guidelines for Dwell Community Church
Kate Mizelle and Scott Risley
Introduction
At Dwell Community Church, we strive to create a community that reflects the love, grace, and truth of Jesus Christ. We recognize that as a diverse body of believers, conflicts and misunderstandings are inevitable. God calls us to address these issues in a way that glorifies Him, builds up the church, and preserves the unity of the Spirit. This paper outlines a comprehensive, biblically based approach to resolving conflicts and disputes within our fellowship.
Biblical Foundation
Passages such as the following form the foundation for our policy:
- Matthew 18:15-17: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
- Ephesians 4:2-3: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
- James 1:19-20: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
- Matthew 7:3-5: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
- Colossians 3:12-14: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
- Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Purpose and Scope
The purpose of this policy is to:
- Foster Unity: Encourage reconciliation and unity within the church by addressing conflicts in a Christ-like manner (John 13:34-35; Ephesians 4:1-3; Romans 12:18).
- Ensure Integrity: Provide a transparent, fair, impartial and biblically sound process for resolving disputes (James 2:9; 1 Timothy 5:21).[1]
- Facilitate Forgiveness: Help people work toward forgiveness and prevent bitterness from taking root (Hebrews 12:15; Ephesians 4:32).[2]
- Represent Christ: Keep a strong witness and protect against Satan’s schemes by handling conflicts in a way that reflects the love of God (Ephesians 4:26-27; 1 Peter 5:8).
This process applies to all members, volunteers, staff, and leaders of Dwell Community Church.
Types of Disputes [3]
Disputes may arise in various forms, including but not limited to:
- Concerns related to individuals within the church:
- Interpersonal Conflicts: Disputes or misunderstandings between members, staff, or leaders.
- Behavioral Issues: Concerns about behavior that may be perceived as unbiblical or unethical.
- Harassment or Discrimination: Allegations of harassment, discrimination, abuse, or inappropriate behavior within the church.
- Concerns related to Dwell Community Church:
- Doctrinal Concerns: Disagreements or concerns regarding the interpretation, teaching, or application of Scripture.
- Leadership Decisions[4]: Concerns over decisions made by church leadership, including but not limited to financial, administrative, or pastoral matters.
- Church Policies: Concerns related to the church’s policies, procedures, or governance.
Conflict and Dispute Resolution Process
1. Personal Reflection and Prayer
Before bringing up a dispute, individuals should take time to prayerfully consider the issue.
- Seek God’s Guidance and Perspective: Pray for wisdom, discernment, and a spirit of humility (James 1:5).
- Examine Your Heart: Reflect on your own actions, attitudes, and motivations, and consider whether the complaint is rooted in personal preferences or misunderstandings (Psalm 139:23-24). Have you made a commitment to forgive this person as God has forgiven you (Eph 4:32)?
- Remove the Log: Ask God to show you your contribution in this matter (Matthew 7:2-5).
- “Should I Overlook this Offense?” Prayerfully determine if you should overlook this offense or raise the issue for the sake of the individuals involved and the body of Christ (Romans 12:18; Proverbs 19:11).
- Consider the following resources as you prepare:
- “Charitable Judgments” paper
- Liz Sweet’s “Charitable Judgments” workshop
- Encouraging story about a reconciliation that seemed hopeless
- Ken Sande, The Peacemaker, Chapters 1-6 (and answer the questions at the end of each chapter).
2. Personal Resolution (Matthew 18:15)
- Private Conversation: If you have a dispute with someone, approach them directly and privately to discuss the issue. Speak the truth in love, with the goal of understanding and reconciliation (Ephesians 4:15; Galatians 6:1).
- Listen Actively: Listen to the other person’s perspective with an open heart, seeking to understand their point of view (James 1:19; Proverbs 18:2, 13).
- Seek Reconciliation: Aim to resolve the issue in a way that restores the relationship and promotes unity (Romans 12:18). Realize this may take some time and require more than one meeting.
- Resources
- Ken Sande, The Peacemaker, Chapters 7-12 (and answer the questions at the end of each chapter)
3. Mediation or Conflict Coaching (Matthew 18:16)
If your efforts at personal reconciliation have failed to resolve the issue, what’s the next step? We will follow the principles outlined in Exodus 18, handling conflicts at the local level where possible but escalating more complicated cases for additional help.
[5]- For home church members, speak with your home church leader: Members should start by speaking with one of their home church leaders (or coleaders) to get help (Proverbs 12:15). The home group leader will decide whether to handle the issue or bring in outside help.
- For Dwell staff members, speak with your direct supervisor: For conflicts between church staff, employees should contact their direct supervisor when appropriate. If not, reach out to another supervisor or HR. The supervisor will decide whether to handle the issue or bring in outside help.
- Alternate Dwell contact point: If that does not lead to reconciliation (or if a member does not feel comfortable reaching out to one of the home church leaders), they can raise the issue by reaching out directly to peacemaking@dwellcc.org.
If outside help is needed, the Dwell staff contact point will decide how to proceed, possibly requesting trained mediators or conflict coaches from our peacemaking team, home church coaches, liaison team or pastoral counselors to work with the parties to achieve resolution. Mediators will document the steps taken for accountability and future reference.
4. Involvement of Church Eldership (1 Peter 5:2; Philippians 4:2-3)
- Further Escalation to Board of Elders: If the conflict remains unresolved after mediation, and if it is against a Dwell leader, parties can confer with their staff contact point about whether to escalate to the level of the church elders. The elders would then decide how to proceed.[6]
- Leadership Review: If the elders decide to proceed, a review team will meet with all parties involved and seek to mediate a resolution.
- Possible Outcomes: The review team may recommend actions such as counseling, restitution or other restorative measures. In certain cases, disciplinary action such as removal from leadership may be deemed necessary.
- Written Decision: The review team will provide a written decision outlining the steps taken and the resolution reached. This document will be shared with all parties involved and kept on file for future reference.
5. Final Appeal
- Appeal Process: If any party remains unsatisfied after step four, a final appeal may be made to the senior pastors.
- Final Review: The senior pastors will either handle the appeal or appoint someone to handle it. They will conduct a thorough review of the conflict, the steps taken, and the resolution provided. Their decision will be considered final and binding.
- Encouragement to Accept: All parties are encouraged to accept the final decision with grace and to commit to moving forward in unity and love and forgiveness.
Special Considerations
1. Anonymous Complaints
While anonymous grievances are generally discouraged, recognizing that openness and accountability are vital to reconciliation, they will still be accepted under the following conditions:
- Limited Investigation: These may be investigated at the discretion of the leadership, depending on the severity and credibility of the information provided.
- Confidential Handling: If the report is deemed credible, it will be handled confidentially, with efforts made to address the issue without revealing the identity of the complainant where possible.[7]
2. Complaints Involving Serious Allegations
In cases involving serious allegations such as abuse, harassment, or serious crimes, the following steps will be taken:
- Immediate Action: The church leadership will take immediate action to ensure the safety and well-being of all involved, which may include suspension of the accused from their duties pending investigation.
- Legal Compliance: The church will comply with all legal requirements, including reporting to authorities where necessary, while also providing pastoral care to those affected (Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:13-17).
3. Complaints Against Groups or Ministry Teams
Some express that they aren't bitter toward specific individuals, but instead have complaints about their former group or ministry. These feelings may be rooted in unresolved conflicts, and we believe reviewing steps 1 and 2 of this process would be a good starting point.
In certain instances, people become upset over things they’ve heard happened to someone else. It’s important to remember that gossip damages the Body of Christ (Proverbs 16:28; 17:4; 20:19), and we should be cautious not to spread negativity. If someone complains to you, encourage them to read this paper, especially the section on charitable judgments.[8]
For parents, if your child is upset about how they have been treated by a leader, or about something that a leader or fellow student said to them, the principles and resources in this paper still apply. It’s important to teach your children how to resolve conflicts biblically. We provide additional resources for parents here.
Confidentiality and Record Keeping
- Confidentiality:[9] All grievances will be handled with confidentiality to protect the privacy and dignity of the parties involved. Information will be shared only with those who have a legitimate need to know.
- Records: The church will maintain confidential records of all grievances, including the steps taken and the outcomes, for accountability and reference. These records will be securely stored and accessed only by authorized personnel.
Non-Retaliation Policy
No member, volunteer, staff, or leader will face retaliation or adverse consequences for bringing a grievance in good faith (Romans 12:17-21; Matthew 5:38-47). Any form of retaliation will be taken seriously and addressed promptly.
Restoration and Reconciliation
Our ultimate goal is to achieve restoration and reconciliation within the church. To this end, we encourage all members to:
- Seek Forgiveness: Be willing to ask for and extend forgiveness, following the example of Christ, who forgave us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).
- Extend Grace: Show grace and mercy to one another, recognizing that we are all in need of God’s forgiveness and grace (Ephesians 4:32).
- Pursue Peace: Strive for peace and unity within the church, making every effort to build each other up in love (Romans 14:19; Ephesians 4:3).
Training and Education
- Training: Church leaders, staff, and members involved in the reconciliation process will receive training on biblical conflict resolution and mediation.
- Educational Resources: The church will provide equipping resources such as classes and workshops on topics related to conflict resolution, forgiveness, reconciliation, and peacemaking (Ephesians 4:11-12).
Conclusion
At Dwell Community Church, we are committed to resolving conflicts in a way that honors God, strengthens the church, and reflects the love and grace of Jesus Christ. By following this conflict resolution policy, we seek to create a community where all members can grow in faith, love, and unity. We encourage every member of our fellowship to embrace the principles of forgiveness, reconciliation, and peace, as we work together to fulfill the Great Commission and glorify God in all that we do (Matthew 28:18-20; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Colossians 3:17; 1 Peter 4:11).
Resources