Introduction
Remind of context (4:1-3a).  One important part of living the Christian life/sanctification is healthy  leadership and followership in the church.  This is why Paul addresses this issue in 5:12,13 (read). From these two verses, we note three  important truths concerning this subject:
  Leadership in the church  is essential. Since the whole church  was only months old, we might think that Paul would not have commissioned any  leaders. But he knew that young leaders  are much better than no leaders (XENOS’ EARLY YEARS), so he recognized/commissioned  as leaders those who were relatively best qualified (see below) before he left.
  Leadership in the church  should be plural (“those;” “them”).  Since the church was probably small in number, we might think that a  single leader would be sufficient/more efficient. But Paul knew that multiple leaders and group  leadership are crucial for several reasons, some of which will become clear  below. The local church needs lots of  leaders!
  Church unity requires  proper relations between leaders and followers. “Be at peace with one another” (5:13b) is not  a random statement; it is connected to 5:12,13a. When Christians embrace their God-given  responsibilities as leaders and followers, a powerful loving unity  flourishes. Conversely, when we have wrong  views about leadership and/or followership (brought in from the world or the  church), destructive disunity is almost certain to result. (FAILED HOME GROUPS’ FACTOR) This is why Paul gives such clear  instructions on this subject. Let’s  start with how he describes Christian leadership  responsibilities...
Key Christian leadership responsibilities
First, Christian leaders  are to “diligently labor among” those they lead. Two things are in view here:
  Christian leadership involves intentionally serving the people  you lead. Kopaio was used to describe shepherds who worked long and hard in  the fields. Jesus said that His leaders  must not take advantage of those they lead, but must rather serve them  (Mk.10:40-45)—genuinely love them and meet their needs. Abuse of leadership authority in the church  (e.g., PRIEST PEDOPHILE SCANDAL; HEALTH-WEALTH SCAM ARTISTS; PASTORS’ ADULTERY  WITH MEMBERS) is the single biggest reason for the rejection of Christianity in  our society.
  
    This is one reason why plural leadership is important—so  leaders are accountable to one another.  “Absolute power corrupts absolutely” in the church, too.
  
  “Among” implies lots of interpersonal contact. Christian leaders don’t come out once a week  to speak; they are among the people, talking to them, praying with them,  helping them move forward in their spiritual lives. Jesus was “among” His disciples in this way  (Lk.22:27), and Paul modeled this (Acts20:18;  1Thess.2:7).
  
    This is one reason why a home group needs multiple home group  leaders. It takes this to give people  the personalized care that they need in order to mature.
  
Second, Christian leaders  are to “have charge over them in the Lord.” Two things are in view here:
  Christian leaders must lead! Prohistemi means literally “place  before”—setting direction, planning, managing.  Leaders are not transactional (giving people what they want), but transformational (leading people toward maturity and reaching out). They have real authority (and  responsibility!) to devise structures, plan initiatives, etc. that will help  God’s people mature and reach out to non-Christians (EXAMPLES: MEETING NUMBER  & KINDS; WHO CAN TEACH; ETC.).
  Their authority is “in the Lord,” which probably means that it  is limited to the work of the church.  Much damage is done by cultish leaders who go beyond their proper sphere  of authority and try to control people (EXAMPLES: WHERE TO LIVE, HOW TO SPEND  THEIR MONEY, WHO THEY CAN DATE; ETC.).
Third, Christian leaders  are to “give you instruction.” The  content of this instruction is God’s Word, the Bible. It is God’s Word (not my opinions, the latest  cultural fads, etc.) that transforms the lives of God’s people (read  2Tim.3:16,17). So Christian  leaders communicate God’s Word in two key ways (see 2Tim.4:2):
  They teach or preach or lead discussion of God’s Word in group  settings, like this one, in a home group meeting, a cell group, a class,  etc. A steady diet of this kind of group  instruction is essential spiritual nutrition (Acts2:42).
  They personally apply God’s Word to individuals. Noutheteo means to counsel, to warn, to correct. Christians  need personalized application of God’s promises to dispel their fears and  doubts (EXAMPLE). They need personalized  correction of sinful attitudes and behaviors (EXAMPLE). They also need personalized challenges to  take steps of faith (EXAMPLE). Most of  this takes place in discipleship relationships, which leaders model and promote  among the flock.
To those who lead: You have a very high calling! The church is the very flock of God,  purchased by the blood of His Son (Acts20:28). The church is the very Body of Christ—His  presence here in a world that needs to know about Him. To be  allowed to lead in the church is the highest privilege accorded to Christians in  this age. It is also deeply  fulfilling (Acts20:35). Do you  thank God that you get to lead—or do  you complain to God and others that you have to lead? Christ promises to guide and  empower you to lead His people. Are you depending  on Him for wisdom, love, power to lead—or are you trying to lead by your own  resources?
To those being led: It is a wonderful provision to have good  Christian leaders! Christ Himself is  working through them to supply you with truth, guidance, example, and effective  direction so that you can fulfill His purpose for your life. Are you a good follower? The main point of this passage is to explain  what good followership looks like...
Key Christian followership responsibilities
First, Christian  followers are to “appreciate” their leaders. “Appreciate” is not a good translation. Oida here probably means to respect, to be subject to, to be responsive to their  leadership direction (see this usage in 1Cor.16:18 in light of  16:16).
  We are to be inclined to accept our leaders’ direction and to actively  get behind it and help it succeed. Of  course, this is easy to do when we agree with them—because then we are really  doing what we prefer anyway! But the  test of submission (to God and others) is when we don’t agree. Many Christians reserve the right to refuse  or sabotage (actively or passively) any leadership direction with which they  disagree. This is a worldly attitude,  but it has no place in the church. If I say:  “I have no problem submitting to Christ—but church leaders don’t deserve my  respect or cooperation,” it may be that I am self-deceived! Christ expresses much of His leadership  through them, so how I respond to them is usually a good indication of how I am  actually responding to Christ’s leadership of my life.
  Heb. 13:17 makes calls for the same response for a different  reason (read). Christ is holding them  accountable to lead you well, and you are responsible to follow them well by  allowing yourself to be persuaded by them (peitho)  and by following their direction (hupeiko)—within  their proper sphere and unless it contradicts the Bible. When we are poor followers, we actually hurt  ourselves because we prevent good leaders from caring for our souls!
Second, Christian  followers are to “esteem them very highly in love.” Hegeomai means to hold them in the highest regard (NIV).  Why? Not because they are intrinsically  superior, but “because of their work.”  Their work of servant leadership to advance Jesus’ church is super-important  (see above)! 
  Our attitude toward godly Christian leaders is actually a  litmus test of our own spiritual health.  Who we esteem is a very telling indication of what we really value (Ps.16:2,3). Do you esteem those who do this work, or do  you view them dismissively and esteem models of worldly values (EXAMPLE)? 
  Esteem imparts the desire to imitate. This is why, in a healthy church, members are  very grateful for their leaders, and see Christian leadership as a “noble task”  to which many aspire in some capacity (1Tim.3:1). Conversely, one symptom of a sick church is a  ho-hum or even negative attitude about taking on servant-leadership in the  church in whatever capacity the Lord assigns.  One subtle way I hear this sentiment is when home group members say: “I’m  glad you lead, but I don’t ever want to lead.” 
Third, Christian  followers are to help the leaders in the work. After describing the leaders’ responsibility  to serve and feed the flock, Paul immediately urges all of the Thessalonian  Christians to do the same thing with each other (read 5:14). 
  Should leaders admonish those who need correction? So should all of us admonish the unruly. Should  leaders encourage those who are hurting?  So should all of us encourage  the faint-hearted. Should leaders help  those who need to grow stronger? So  should all of us help the weak.
  This is the opposite of the “clergy-laity” mentality, in which  the leaders do all the work while the people only sit passively and receive (STEDMAN:  CHURCH AS A FOOTBALL GAME). Christian  leaders are model servants so that you can imitate  their service (Eph. 4:11,12)! When most people in a home group are  following in this way, everyone flourishes and God usually adds new people to  their number because he knows they will be well cared-for! Are you a good follower in this respect?
Conclusion
I want to make explicit something that has been implicit  throughout this passage: The key to all of this is a vital love relationship  with Jesus. Don’t get the cart before  the horse (ILLUSTRATION)!
  Jesus is the Good Shepherd who proves His goodness because he  knows His sheep by name (deep personal knowledge of each person) and because He  lays down His life for His sheep (sacrificial good will).
  Are you ready to admit that you are not a good shepherd/leader  of your own life? Tell Jesus that your  resign from being your own shepherd, and ask Him to be your Shepherd! This is what it means to become a Christian.
  Then, when you meet Him, you begin to experience His loving  servant-leadership, His wisdom, etc.  This is what enables you to trust and follow godly under-shepherds. This is what motivates you to be a  servant-leader of others.