Introduction
Brief review of the letter's setting. Up to now, Paul has been celebrating their conversion (1:1-10), reminding them of how he related to them when he was with them (2:1-13), and assuring them of his love even though separated from them (2:17-3:13).
Now he begins to instruct and exhort them in how to live the Christian life (read 4:1-3a). The Christian life is about living a lifestyle ("walk") to "please God" (not self or people), about being "sanctified" – set apart for God's good purpose (Rom. 12:2b). He had begun to instruct them on this when with them, and they had responded well. But he urges them to "excel still more" – to keep growing and gaining new ground in this lifestyle. Direction matters more than where you are, how you compare to others.
Paul's instruction begins with instruction about sex. God has an awesome purpose for our sexual lives. He wants us to live out this key part of our lives according to His will, to please Him, to enjoy His gift of sex, and to demonstrate His wisdom and goodness to a watching world. So Paul addresses the who, what, why and how of Christian sexuality.
WHO: To whom is this instruction addressed?
Paul is addressing Christians (4:1 – "brothers and sisters") – people who have personally received the living Jesus into their hearts, who have received His gift of complete forgiveness, and who have bowed to Him as the rightful Leader of their lives. This is what it means to become a Christian, as we saw in chapter 1. It is to Christians that this instruction on sexuality is addressed. The order implied by 1 Thessalonians is: First become a Christian, then embrace and pursue Christian sexual ethics. This has two important implications.
First, for those of you who are not Christians, you are listening in this morning on a way of life that is very different from what your culture promotes, and (probably) very different from what you think and believe and feel. Paul didn't impose Christians sexual ethics on non-Christians, and I'm not going to do this to you. This is a complicated area, but Christians should focus on living out this lifestyle rather than pressuring you to live this way. As you listen in, remember that the key question for you is not: "Will you change your sexual behavior?" but: "Will you receive Christ?" Christ wants to meet you where you are, and forgive you and enable you to experience His Father's love. And then, on that basis and with His help, He will initiate change in your life, including your sexual lifestyle. Three responses are possible:
"I know I am sexually messed up, and I want help!"
"I'm not convinced I need to change sexually, but I am willing to receive Christ."
"I am unwilling to change sexually, so I don't want to receive Christ."
If you can say either of the first two, just open the door of your heart and ask Christ to come in. If you are dug in on the third response, just realize that you're turning down an amazing offer that many of us will tell you is the best gift we've ever received. If you are ever willing to reconsider in this life, Christ's offer stands.
Second, for those of us who are Christians, this is for all of us. This is not Paul's opinion – it is the will of our Lord (4:1 – "in the Lord Jesus;" 4:2 – "by the authority of the Lord Jesus;" 4:8). We belong to Jesus, and we are under Jesus' authority. We have admitted that we are sinners, needing not only Jesus' forgiveness, but also His moral direction because we are prone to err and deceive ourselves. We don't reserve the right to pick and choose from His direction, nor do we look to our fallen thoughts/feelings/urges or cultural mores for direction. We bow to His authority as Lord, trusting His love and wisdom as proven at the Cross, and are willing to let our Good Shepherd guide us and change us in every area – including our sexual lifestyles.
WHAT: What is God's will for our sexual lifestyles?
Read 4:3b-6a. Paul answers this question both negatively and positively. Let's begin with the positive – to "know how to possess our own vessel in sanctification and honor." "Possess his own vessel" could refer to acquiring a spouse, or (more likely) it could refer to using our sexual organs properly. In either case, it refers to embracing God's purpose for human sex ("sanctification"), and that we have a high view of our bodies in this regard ("honor"). In other words, our sexuality is a key part of our spirituality.
The biblical God's purpose for human sexuality couldn't be higher or more beautiful. Gen. 1,2 tell us that human sexuality in the context of heterosexual monogamous marriage mirrors something profoundly beautiful about God – the Trinity's self-giving love (unity in diversity), how this love overflows into more life, and the pure pleasure and joy that results.Because of this tremendous positive, there also a strong negative. Anything that is precious should be protected; anything that is sacred should not be profaned (e.g., USING LOVE LETTERS FOR TOILET PAPER). Because our sexuality is so precious and sacred, Paul gives two negative warnings:
The first warning is behavioral – to abstain from sexual immorality (4:3b). Porneia refers to means all sexual relations outside of heterosexual, monogamous marriage. This is the clear and consistent teaching of the entire Bible. Remind of Gen. 2:24. The Old Testament law condemned all sexual practices outside of marriage. Jesus explicitly affirmed Gen. 2:24 in Matt. 19:5,6. Read Heb. 13:4a. All sexual relations outside of heterosexual marriage (heterosexual shacking up or cohabitation; adultery; homosexual encounters or relationships; sexual abuse; pornography; VR sexual encounters, etc.) are against God's design.
The second warning is attitudinal – to turn away from relating to others in lustful passion (4:5) – disordered and/or self-centered sexual desires. Because we are fallen, we can't prevent these desires from emerging in our minds, but we can choose not to justify them or feed them. 4:6 probably describes this attitude in another way – sexually defrauding another brother or sister.So as followers of Jesus, we affirm three foundational truths to ourselves and to one another:
We are all sexually broken. We have different inordinate sexual lusts, for different reasons, and different degrees of sexual damage – but we are all in this together as sexually broken people who need God's healing in this area of our lives.
We are all called to be counter-cultural in our sexual lives. This prohibition has always been radically counter-cultural, because fallen human societies always lower their sexual ethics. It was totally counter-cultural for Israel in the midst of Canaanite culture – yet God called them to it. It was totally counter-cultural for 1st-century Christians in the midst of Greco-Roman culture – yet God called them to it. And it is totally counter-cultural for us in the midst of 21st-century American culture – yet God calls us to it.
We are all called to sexual sacrifice. Single people are called to strict chastity – a life of sexual abstinence. Married people are called to a life of strict fidelity – giving ourselves sexually to our spouses only and turning away from all sexual pursuits outside of our marriage relationship.
WHY: Why is sexual purity so important?
There are many, many biblical answers to this question. I wish we had time to give all of them, but I must limit myself to Paul's answers in this passage, which are two:
Because sexual impurity is deeply damaging to us and others (read 4:6b,7). It is wrong for preachers to use 4:6b as a club to threaten Christians with God's rejection or condemnation if they commit sexual sin. The rest of the Bible explicitly promises Christians complete and permanent exemption from God's condemnation (e.g., Rom. 8:1). Rather, Paul is warning us that even though we are forgiven, sexual sin will cause real damage to us and to others connected to us. We are made in God's image, designed for sexual purity. We live in God's universe, designed for God's moral will. When we violate the moral structure of the universe and our own souls, we will not escape a ripple-effect of injury. "We cannot ultimately break God's moral laws; we break ourselves upon them." For 45 years now, I've been working among the human wreckage of the sexual revolution – real people who have been damaged and broken by its lies (2 Pet. 2:19).
I'm not just talking about the danger of STD's, which is killing millions of people all over the world.
I'm talking about the lie that "casual sex is no big deal," because there is no such thing as casual sex. I've seen the wounds in people's souls when they give a part of themselves that they can never have back, and then the other person leaves. I've seen what happens to early-teen and even pre-teen girls and boys who have sex out of peer pressure (rather than love or even desire for pleasure) to "get it out of the way." And they are not allowed to say it hurts, because it would be heresy to admit this. I've seen students describing their sexual activity as "hooking up" and "just another contact sport." No wonder they are cynical about real love – they have to harden themselves to deaden the pain!
I'm talking about the lie that having multiple sexual partners before marriage will help you find someone who is sexually compatible, despite the reality that those who have had sex only with their spouses report much higher sexual satisfaction.
I'm talking about the damage of guilt and boredom and poor sexual performance in marriage because of all the porn and other partners people compare their spouses to – not to mention how porn is a multi-billion dollar industry that systematically dehumanizes real people into sexual objects.
I'm talking about the lie that living together will help you succeed in marriage, when the reality is that people who cohabit are way more likely to get divorced and report a much higher incidence of marital infidelity.
I'm talking about the long-term, multi-faceted damage to millions of precious children born out into fatherless families – no matter what word games we play with what "family" means. I'm talking about the way adultery rips a family apart and tears up the children of divorce (for which adultery is the number one reason cited).
How much more human wreckage do we have to reap before we're willing to drop the denial and admit that sexual immorality destroys lives? We're like the ostrich with its head in the sand while the lion chews its back-side. There is no such thing as "victimless" sexuality immorality! God is so insistent on this issue – not because He is a cosmic killjoy, but because He loves us and knows what is best for us.
Because sexual impurity destroys our intimacy with Jesus. Read 4:8. God's Spirit is the Holy Spirit – He personally leads us and helps toward holiness (sanctification). He sensitizes our consciences about sexual sin, and He personally urges us to flee sexual selfishness and pursue self-giving love. When we resist or reject His guidance of our sexual lives, we are resisting and rejecting the Lord. This does not destroy our identity as God's children, but it does destroy our intimacy with Him. His Word goes dead, our prayer lives wither, and we begin to avoid other spiritually healthy Christians. If this controversy persists, it can lead to a total spiritual breakdown in which we lose all closeness with God. Our greatest treasure is to be close to Jesus, to have no controversy with Him, to walk in the light with Him, to experience fresh revelations of His love for us. No amount of sexual pleasure or human admiration or security is worth this price!
HOW: How can we pursue sexual purity & receive sexual healing?
Many are so busted up in this area that they feel hopeless. But there is real hope because Jesus changes lives! Paul gives only a partial answer to this question here. But here is a summary of the Bible's answer:
It starts by asking Christ to forgive your sins (including your sexual sins), and to ask Him to live in your heart through His Spirit.
It advances by embracing His design for your sexual life. Decide to trust His love and wisdom rather than our broken culture, your peers, and your own desires. Bow to Jesus' loving moral authority over this whole area of your life (vs. justifying; rationalizing; saying "Stay out!").
It involves walking down this path with other brothers and sisters who also want this way of life. Is it a coincidence that Paul immediately follows 4:8 with 4:9,10 (read)? No, because a key part of sexual sanctification is real involvement in Christian love relationships. Here is where we find strength with other like-minded brothers and sisters. Here is where we find healthy accountability and wise counsel and support. Here we can find a substantial cure for the deep loneliness that makes sexual temptation so difficult to resist. You will not succeed in a lifestyle of sexual purity without these Christ-centered friendships. Who are you going to open your life up to in this way? (PROMOTE HOME GROUPS)
It means being willing to take the specific next step God is asking you to take toward sexual purity. Jesus has a personalized plan for your sexual sanctification; He has a step for you to take. Ask Him, telling Him you are willing to follow—and He will reveal this to you. EXAMPLES:
He may call on you to stay away from the bars and clubs that tempt you to hook up.
He may call on you to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you're done having sex. And if you can't follow this commitment, He may call on you to end the relationship at least for now.
He may call on you to admit your current sexual sins to a brother or sister, to ask them to pray with you for liberation, and to listen to their advice about how to get free.
He may call on you to turn decisively from the flirting and fantasizing you're doing with that person who is not your spouse.
He may call on you to tell someone about the guilt you bear from sexual sins committed (by you or by other against you) long ago.
He may call on you to commit to a program of Christian counseling or a support group for sexual healing (e.g., REDEMPTION).
I don't know what this step is, but Jesus knows what it is – and He is ready to show you and help you take this step so you can get more freed and healed. Will you take it?
Conclusion
NEXT WEEK: 1 Thess. 4:9-12 – "Excelling in the Simple Life"
SUMMARIZE >> QUESTIONS & COMMENTS