Introduction
Briefly review the author and audience (read 1:1; MAP). Peter calls them "exiles" and "strangers" – not because they were physical immigrants/refugees, but because they were regarded as spiritual outsiders by their fellow-citizens, neighbors and families. They were not experiencing "hard" persecution (i.e., imprisonment, beatings, execution), but rather "soft" persecution – increasing suspicion, reviling, slander, maligning, etc. Some of this was because of widespread misinformation about Christianity (e.g., incest, cannibalism, atheism), but also because of things that were true about Christianity (e.g., "Christ crucified;" sexual & drinking ethics; etc.). Practicing their faith was becoming an increasing social liability. Note the parallels to our situation. What a timely book 1 Peter is!
Last week, we learned from Peter that Christians are exiles with a mission. We are to proclaim the excellencies of the God who has saved us through Jesus (read 2:9; e.g., formal teaching/preaching, personal testimony, spiritual dialogue, etc.). We are also to conduct ourselves before the watching world in such a way that they might bow to the Lord of whom we speak (read 2:12). In 2:13 – 3:12, Peter explains what such message-confirming conduct looks like.
The essence of it is living as "bond-servants of God" (read 2:16) – not being preoccupied with our own rights and freedoms, but rather (like Jesus in Jn. 13) entrusting ourselves to God and serving people to influence them toward God.
What does being God's bond-servant look like in real life? Peter applied this principle to how we relate to civil authorities (read 2:13,14) and to work-place authorities (read 2:18). "Submit yourselves" here involves two things:
Respecting their legitimate positions and voluntarily cooperating with their legitimate goals (vs. being prickly, adversarial, rebellious, etc.). On this level, we should be model citizens and employees.
Even when we must disobey them in order to obey God, we patiently endure ill-treatment for our non-compliance (read 2:19,20; vs. revolt, take vengeance, etc.; e.g., Acts 5:41,42; OTHER EXAMPLES). Jesus is our example in submitting to unjust suffering in order to bring us back to God (2:21-25).
This week, Peter continues to apply this bond-servant principle – first specifically to two marriage situations (3:1-7), and then generally to all people (3:8-12) . . .
Bond-servants in marriage
Read 3:1. The first marital situation Peter speaks to is Christian wives who are married to non-Christian, spiritually unreceptive husbands. In Roman society, wives were expected to worship their husbands' household gods. Obviously, these Christian wives could not do this without disobeying God. But instead of arguing or badgering their husbands about faith-issues, they were to seek to win their husbands to Christ by their behavior. Specifically, they should:
Be submissive to their own husbands (not to men in general) – to be cooperative with a good attitude wherever possible (vs. rebellious, belligerent, retributive, etc.). Peter commends the example of godly submissive wives in the OT (refer to 3:5b,6).
Be pure and reverent toward God (read 3:2). "Purity" (hagnos) means unhypocritical, and connotes unwillingness to compromise His moral will (EXAMPLE). "Respectful" (phobo) means reverent respect for God, which would include being committed to their spiritual responsibilities (e.g., fellowship; prayer & Word; ministry). God works through such moral and spiritual integrity to prick the conscience of the unbelieving spouse.
Prioritize internal beauty (like gentleness and a quiet/peaceful spirit that result from hoping in God) over externally impressive adornment (read 3:3-5a). This is a growing beauty (unlike fading physical beauty) that attracts people to its Source.
To these, I would add forgiveness and prayer for their spouses, which further unleashes God's influence.
I saw my mother live this out with my difficult-to-live-with father over many decades. He was definitely unreceptive to my mother's faith (e.g., refusing to attend church or discuss spiritual things), and was upset when I came to faith in Christ at 17. But she stayed with him, and modeled the above (EXAMPLES). And late in life, he bowed to Jesus – and I believe my mom's behavior was the biggest influence.
This principle applies to other family relationships with people who are resistant to Christ (e.g., believing children with unbelieving parent(s) and siblings; spouses with believing-but-not-walking spouses; etc.). God has set them apart for special influence through us (1 Cor. 7:14), so we remain committed to the relationship and do our part to win them to Christ through our behavior. Over time, many family members may eventually come to faith in this way.
Peter now turns to another marital situation that was evidently common in these churches – believing husbands behaving selfishly and condescendingly toward their believing wives. Roman culture encouraged this kind of behavior by its low view of women. Peter exhorts these husbands to be a counter-cultural witness by being loving bond-servants of their wives in two important ways:
Read 3:7a. "Weaker" here refers not to general inferiority or intellectual/moral weakness – but to comparative physical weakness. In a non-mechanized society, husbands could work their wives into the ground. Peter calls on the husbands (as servants of Christ) to do the greater share of physical labor in the household.
In our mechanized culture, this specific application may not be relevant. But there are many ways spouses can exploit their spouses' weaknesses (e.g., all physical abuse/threats; verbally running over spouses not quick on their feet, manipulating unshrewd spouses). Rather, we should use our strengths to serve and help them.
Read 3:7b. "The grace of life (zoe)" refers to their wives' equal standing as recipients of salvation through faith in Jesus. This is a call to be a spiritual team, working together to serve the Lord. This is also a call to cultivate appreciation for our spouses (vs. disdain or contempt), and to express this appreciation privately and publicly. Refusal to cultivate this kind of relationship with our spouses leads to a hindered prayer life (maybe aversion to praying together as a natural consequence of disunity; maybe unanswered prayer as a discipline from God).
Our marriages can attract people to Christ more than we may think! Marriage is a failing institution in America, which is a major tragedy. But the greater tragedy is that Christian marriages fail at nearly the same rate as non-Christian marriages. Let us commit ourselves decisively to our marriages, and focus on letting God transform us to be better spouses!
Bond-servants to all people
Peter summarizes this section of his letter ("finally") this way (read 3:8,9a). What a beautiful picture – to have this bond-servant posture as our normal conduct with neighbors, work-associates, on social media, at the grocery store, while driving, etc. How tragically different this description is from what characterizes much of the American evangelical church today, and perhaps many of us (mean-spirited; withdrawn; compartmentalized)!
If you want even more motivation to live this way, Peter gives it (read 3:9b-12). When we live as God's bond-servants in our communities, at work, with our spouses, etc., we will have happier and more spiritually vital lives! Research increasingly confirms what the Bible has always taught – that thankful, serving people live happier lives, while self-centered people tend to be increasingly unhappy. And this is yet another attractant to the watching world!
Conclusion
NEXT WEEK: 1 Pet. 3:13-22 (TITLE?)
QUESTIONS & COMMENTS
As in other NT letters, Peter devotes considerably more content to conduct than to proclamation. This is probably because conduct has the ability to confirm the truthfulness of our message. Jesus makes the same point about a specific aspect of our conduct – loving unity between Christians (Jn. 13:34,35; 17:21,23).
"Disobedient to the word" refers to a posture of ongoing rejection of God's message/Word.
"Plutarch (Mor. Con. pr. 140D) mentions specifically that . . . the wife must worship and acknowledge only the gods her husband believed in, and must exclude all 'outlandish superstitions.'" Paul J. Achtemeier, First Peter (Fortress Press, 1996), p. 207.
"Dominant . . . was the notion that the woman was by nature inferior to the man. Because she lacked the capacity for reason that the male had, she was ruled rather by her emotions, and was as a result given to poor judgment . . . (Hence) it was her place to obey. Such a view of women was also sedimented in legal tradition: women could not vote or hold office, could not take an oath or plead a case in court, could not be the legal guardian of their own minor children . . ." Paul J. Achtemeier, First Peter (Fortress Press, 1996), p. 206.